Hi Y'ALL its redneck heaven (Pics and jokes)

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pitbulls

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Two West Virginians were having the blue plate special at their favorite diner, when they heard this awful choking sound. They turned around to see a lady, a few bar stools down, turning blue from wolfing down a 'possum burger too fast.

The first hillbilly said to the other, "Think we otta' help?" "I reckon," said the second hillbilly.
The first hillbilly got up and walked over to the lady and asked, "Kin yew breathe?
She shook her head no. "Kin yew talk?" he asked. She again shook her head no.
With that he helped her to her feet, lifted up her skirt and licked her right on the butt cheek.
She was so shocked; she coughed up the obstruction and began to breathe, with great relief.
The first hillbilly turned back to his friend and said, "Funny how that thar Hind Lick Maneuver works ever' time."
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pitbulls

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and some more

More from Jennifer Carp:
Did you hear about the guy from Alabama who passed away and left his entire estate to his beloved widow, but she can't touch it 'til she's 14.

How do you know when you're staying in a Kentucky hotel? When you call the front desk and say, "I gotta leak in my sink," and the front desk replies, "Go ahead."

How can you tell if a Tennessee redneck is married? There is dried tobacco juice on both sides of his pickup truck.

Did you hear that they have raised the minimum drinking age in West Virginia to 32? It seems they want to keep alcohol out of the high schools!

What do they call rerun of "Hee Haw" in Alabama? Documentaries.

Where was the toothbrush invented? Mississippi. If it was invented anywhere else, it would have been called teethbrush.

A Georgia State trooper pulls over a pickup on I-75 and says to the driver, "Got any I.D.?" and the driver replies "Bout wut?"

Did you hear about the $3 million Arkansas State Lottery? The winner gets $3 a year for a million years.

Did you hear that the governor's mansion in Alabama burned down? Yep. Pert' near took out the whole trailer park. The library was a total loss, too. Both books -- poof! -- up in flames and he hadn't even finished coloring one of them.

A new law recently passed in West Virginia: When a couple gets divorced, they're STILL brother and sister.
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coolmodee01

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if you ever get told that your lying through your tooth
you might be a redneck!

if your mowin your front lawn and you find two trucks
you might be a redneck

if your trucks on blocks and your house is on wheels
you might be a redneck

if you have an engine block hanging from your tree
you might be a redneck

if your mumma can tell a state trooper to go and get f**ked without taking the marlbro outa her mouth
you might be a redneck
 

pitbulls

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how can you tell if a redneck is successful?



They got two cars on bricks in the front yard
 

ToTo

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Gov. Jim Justis says you can kiss Baby Dog's azz.
Whats that i hear? john Denver?
"Almost heaven West Virginia" must be at a WVU game
 

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