The MR Community - Mental And General Health Support, resources and Discussion

Discussion in 'General Chat' started by motorman, Aug 26, 2010.

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  1. Aug 26, 2010 #1

    motorman

    motorman

    motorman

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    As most of you are aware, the miniriders landscape has changed forever due to the loss of two of our finest, DVDRip (James) and thump*140 (Tom). While the losses will be felt for a long time to come, the legacy they leave us is not only in the words they wrote on the forum. It is the dialogue about depression, mental health and suicide that they have opened up for us, and as indicated in the responses to a couple of threads, a dialogue that many are keen to maintain and contribute to. This thread is here to promote discussion, the sharing of stories (both personal and those of loved ones) and the offering of support and friendship from the MR community. More than anything else, above bikes and riding, the most important thing we have, and what makes this such a special place is our sense of community.

    This will be a highly emotional thread. Please be respectful of each other and each others opinions and feelings even if you do not agree with them. Please remember that sometimes there will posts from some of our younger members, they may not be able to express themselves as eloquently as others, so be mindful of that before having a go at them. More than any other thread on the forum, this is one where we ask you think about what you post, and review your post before you post it. This is not the place for flaming or any personal attacks on members.

    Everyone's view and experience is relevant, even if it differs from yours. Disagreements, alternative points of view and open discussion is encouraged but personal attacks will not be tolerated.



    Some links to give a bit of understanding of the issues and illnesses.

    Depression http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Depression_%28mood%29

    Bi-polar disorder http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Bipolar_disorder

    Schizophrenia http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Schizophrenia

    Anxiety http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Anxiety

    Post natal/post partum depression http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Postpartum_depression

    We are going to table a list of resources. Please feel free to post any others and they will be added to this list.

    Online

    http://www.beyondblue.org.au/index.aspx? Fantastic resource and initiative for anyone struggling with depression.

    http://www.beyondblue.org.au/index.a...nk_id=107.1007 searches for mental health professionals within a given postcode, whether it be psychiatrist, psychologist or counselling.

    http://www.sane.org/ mental health support

    http://www.menslineaus.org.au/ also Ph 1300 789 978 for the 24 hour phone service.

    http://au.reachout.com/ aimed at young people.

    http://www.depression.com.au/ general resource

    http://www.dadsindistress.asn.au/ supporting men through relationship breakdowns

    http://www.kidshelp.com.au/ partner of the phone servie

    Forums

    http://blueboard.anu.edu.au/ Not an overly active forum, but a place to have a chat in anonymity.

    http://www.thesobervillage.com/ U.S. forum for substance abuse and related depression.

    Phone Support

    Lifeline Australia Ph 13 1114 24 hour support service - Suicide Prevention, Crisis Support and Mental Health

    MensLine Ph 1300 789 978 24 hour support service

    Kids Helpline Ph 1800 55 1800 24 hour supoort service especially aimed at kids and young teens

    Sane Ph 1800 18 7263 Mental health support for families

    Books

    Down Came The Rain - Brooke Shields Brave book detailing her journey through severe post natal depression
     
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  2. Aug 27, 2010 #2

    motorman

    motorman

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    Big thanks to Jo (Skylar) for creating this thread.

    Something happened to the original one so I had to start fresh.
     
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  3. Aug 27, 2010 #3

    Dreadful

    Dreadful

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    Great work guys .... and yes GUTSY effort Skylar, this must have been very hard for you in the current circumstances so I applaud you for your courage .... if we had an award for that you'd get my vote this month.

    And what Motor says is true ... we do have a great community here and there is always someone online who GENUINELY wants to help out no matter what the problem ...girls, bikes, parents it doesn't matter. Some of us are a little older and have seen a bit more life and may be able to help ... I can promise you we'll try .... so fire us a pm .

    Sometimes the problem may be too much for us ...after all we are'nt trained to deal with these things, it's just some of us have had to. That's where the above links come in ... these people are trained to handle such things and will help you to find a way back .

    Finally for the record .....This may surprise some but yes I've fought the black dog for many years myself, as a result of the misdiagnosis of my spinal injury I was diagnosed with cronic clinical depression about 8 years ago ... as a result of the actual injury I also have a cronic pain syndrom on top ...so I've known a few dark days myself. Thing is like many afflicted with this disease we go to great lengths to cover it ...we get really good at it ... we overcompensate to the point were most outside your immediate circle would never know, it's a way of getting through that doesn't make much sense till you are in here ...it's like trying to save your dignity or an attempt to build your self esteem or something ...it's stupid but we do it, and it's the reason it comes as such a shock in many cases .Thankfully My circumstances are changing and the reasons for my depression have been somewhat nullified by my victory against the department of veterans affairs in the administrative appeals tribunal and the justice this has finally, after 12 years of legal battles brought me.

    my point is .... it's a disease .... you can beat it ....and if you are suffering remember you are part of something here and we care about you ... you can reach out here .

    or ring me on 0402760573 any time day or night I don't care.

    We are'nt losin anyone else ..... Again well done Motor and Skylar.
     
    Last edited: Aug 27, 2010
  4. Aug 28, 2010 #4

    Skylar

    Skylar

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    Great post Dready. The thing that I find so interesting, and so comforting in a way, is the commonality of the experiences. The thing I find so disappointing is that quite often it takes so much for people to get talking enough to realise how similar the experiences are. Hopefully, at least in this MR community, the doors of communication have been jammed open permanantly.

    I battled with AND, the bastard sister of Post Natal Depression. AND is Ante Natal Depression, it hits while pregnant, not after the birth. While just as common as PND (between 7% and 20% of pregnant women), it is probably not quite as widely discussed. I know I'm one of very few mums on MR, but I'm sure there's many members who have partners, sisters or some other female in their life that have been affected by one of these forms of depression.

    There's a special kind of contempt reserved for women who go through this. Pregnancy is supposed to be joyous and wonderful and so happy.... and when you don't feel like that, and it is obvious you don't feel like that, people (especially other women) are very judgemental. I'd have people come up and ask me things about when my baby was due and I'd just stare blankly at them or mumble something about not being sure and they'd just glare at me. That's the thing, when you are pregnant, people suddenly think they have the right to come up and get in your face. They definitely didn't mean any harm, but when you are already in a place of total despair, you don't really want strangers celebrating the reason you feel you are there.

    It's very difficult to explain, I didn't necessarily want to hurt myself or the baby, but I just didn't want to be here and I didn't want the baby to be there. If I could be gone..... or even if the baby could be gone, I'd be back to normal and everything would be ok, or so I believed in my head. I didn't see a doctor til I was 5 months pregnant and was extremely lucky that the doctor I randomly picked could see I was in trouble from the first time he met me and started to formulate a plan to ensure I didn't slip through the cracks. He, along with my mum, are the reason Riley and I are both happy and healthy today. I was induced when they felt thing were getting too dangerous for me, in other words I was suicidal and they were concerned what would happen if I went into labour on my own as I used to disappear a bit. So they hospitalised me.

    It took a long time, a bout of post natal depression, Riley being hospitalised and nearly dying at 7days old (bacterial meningitis), and a lot of work to get to being a decent mother. I didn't get the rush of love, I didn't feel any bond with him, I didn't even know what the hell to do most of the time, I was unable to feed him properly. I had times when he'd be crying and I'd just stand there staring at him not even wanting to pick him up, or curled in a ball in the corner of the room crying myself. I lost friends over that period, my brothers didn't understand and just thought I was lazy. Most days it would be a struggle just to get out of bed and have a shower or eat. My weight plummetted to around 52kg, which was very dangerous for me. It took at least 2 years to have a decent relationship with him, and the irony is that now everyone says what a great and close relationship we have. We do, and in some ways it has been better because I had to choose and work really hard at this relationship because it did not come naturally at all.

    It was not until after this time that I found out my mum had gone through the same thing when my younger brother was born. I remember her being hospitalised and her and my brother being in hospital til he was around 2 months old. I did not know until after I went through it myself, that she had attempted suicide at 8 months pregnant and was in a mother and baby psych unit after the birth. This is where communication is so important, if I'd known, perhaps I'd have been more aware of what was happening to me in the early stages and have sought help. Who knows?

    The forgotten people in AND, PND and all forms of depression, are the partners and families of sufferers. A male friend of mine supported his wife through a severe bout and he said it broke his heart to have to look her in the eye and say "You won't hurt the baby will you?" He said it nearly destroyed him to think that the woman he loved could be capable of it. I'm sure there's some MR members who have gone through the same thing with their partners, and I commend you for the strength you have shown to get through it. It is not easy to be the support person.

    I've had one brother attempt suicide a number of times, and he suffers a range of mental illnesses. Another brother did committ suicide in June this year. Another family member has bi-polar disorder. I have never relapsed, but am conscious of the fact that it is something I must monitor. We have had other family members committ suicide, even as far back as the story of my nana's sister and the vague details of her death. I said to my mum recently that it is pretty clear she committed suicide, but the story was made up because of the stigma surrounding it. Thank god we have moved past that and can speak openly and honestly. Myself and my siblings have come to realise that we have a pre-disposition to mental illness, particularly depression. We have taken steps to educate our own children and ourselves so that we can recognise and act upon any early signs. It is the best we can hope to do.

    I hope anybody struggling can read this thread and feel less alone, even if they don't want to post. Like dready, I'm available if anyone wants to talk. Sometimes an open ear can make a bloody big difference.
     
  5. Sep 1, 2010 #5

    atomik boy

    atomik boy

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    i dont know which thread i should post this in but basicly...
    im basicly contemplating suicide!
    i dont have a girl and the last one broke my heart after 19 hours....
    my great aunty recently died...
    my life is shit i think that this is the only way out the will make me finally happy...
    :( i really dont wanna but it feels like the only way out!
     
  6. Sep 1, 2010 #6

    motorman

    motorman

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    First thing mate is to take a few deep breath's and try and relax. For starters, there is no girl in the world worth harming yourself over. Things will pick up mate. They always do. Your young and you have plenty of years to chase tail around yet!! Look forward to that mate.

    If she broke up with you, you gotta see it as "she is the one missing out". It's not your fault.

    Life has it's up's and downs but things always turn around in time. My best mate is going through the exact same thing. Just gotta look on the bright side.

    If all else fails use the resources above and talk to someone. Just getting it out there will make you feel better.
     
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  7. Sep 1, 2010 #7

    atomik boy

    atomik boy

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    thanks mm.
    i think ill just look on the bright side and if it gets worse ill just use the resources.
    your right i have heaps of years ahead so i need to stop being such a woose and suck it up!
    thanks again motorman! :)
    thanks
    james
     
  8. Sep 1, 2010 #8

    topguntravis

    topguntravis

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    Yeh mate, don't even worry about girls, they come and go. They miss out on being with a sex god like yourself lol.
    Do the things that make you happy and use that enjoyment as motivation.
     
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  9. Sep 1, 2010 #9

    Hillz

    Hillz

    Hillz

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    in my veiw girls are noting but bad news..... stay with out them as long as you can..... ride / make money & have fun, you carnt do any of these things with a girl attached
     
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  10. Sep 1, 2010 #10

    motorman

    motorman

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    No Problems James. If you ever get down mate, feel free to PM me your thoughts to me. Always helps to get stuff off your chest.
     
  11. Sep 1, 2010 #11

    roost666

    roost666

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    second that mate
     
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  12. Sep 1, 2010 #12

    atomik boy

    atomik boy

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    thanks to all of you!
    +reps for everyone for being here when i need ya's!
    james
     
  13. Sep 1, 2010 #13

    Skylar

    Skylar

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    atomik boy, I went through all of high school never having one boyfriend. I used to kiss boys at parties and stuff, but I never had a boyfriend. Every single other person I knew had one and I started to feel pretty bad about myself. I often wondered what was wrong with me. And you know what?? Nothing was wrong with me, I just didn't really fit in with those people very well.

    And it taught me some pretty important stuff. Even now I'm happy to be on my own and can just enjoy my own company. I have a lot of strength in myself and don't need other people to make me feel better about myself. And that is a great way to be. :)

    Boyfriends and girlfriends are great to have, but just being you is pretty great too.
     
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  14. Sep 1, 2010 #14

    rach88

    rach88

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    When you stop looking or least expect to find someone is normally when you seem to bump in to the perfect one :)

    I've had the joys of chasing and getting chased by boys and girls. Girls are way worse then guys... They all play games!! So stay away from girls as long as possible :p
     
  15. Sep 1, 2010 #15

    sam93

    sam93

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    Atomik Boy, Try not to think that way as hard as it is. Many people have been in your situation including me thinking whats the point in living and seriously contemplating suicide. The best thing you could possibly do is seek some help.You have nothing to loose if you have hit your rock bottom. Why not give it a try. Even counselling or seeking a psyc/gp etc.

    Seeing a counseller or a psyc can help you sort your things out and make your life better they can listen and then talk about it in a way that is easier for you to make decisions and to manage your life and help you learn how to deal with certain situations.

    I am still seeing a counsellor, Psyc, Gp, and a Doctor all at once its a fair bit but its working more and more. You just need to hold in their and think about it what do you have to loose if your that low?

    If you ever want to chat feel free to PM me anytime...

    Ride on buddy.
     
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  16. Sep 1, 2010 #16

    krazed0451

    krazed0451

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    An alternative to seeing a psychologist for sessions is to do it yourself online. Have a look here and mention it to your GP.

    It got a very positive review from Insight on SBS :)
     
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  17. Sep 1, 2010 #17

    Norway

    Norway

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    Skylar, your post touched me so significantly, I couldn't imagine exposing that kind of information about myself, it must have taken a hell of alot of courage.
    I was adopted before I was old enough to understand or even remember, and having read what you had to say kind of changed my way of understanding how any mother could just 'give up' on a child that didn't deserve it.

    I just want to say thanks for your post and I'm really glad that you and your kid have a great relationship.
    :)
     
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  18. Sep 7, 2010 #18
  19. Sep 7, 2010 #19

    atomik boy

    atomik boy

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    ^^^PURE WIN^^^
    thats a great idea!
     
  20. Sep 7, 2010 #20

    sam93

    sam93

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    Skylar I know that your post isn't new anymore but I didn't have time to read it untill now. Thank you for having the courage to post your story, how you did and to share with us the troubles and battles that you and your family have gone through. I'm sure it will help someone. I have to agree I hope this community can keep this up and keep sharing because it really is helpful for some of us out their.
     

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