i dont know what to call this thread...

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MiniFighter

MiniFighter

Well-Known Member
Joined
Apr 28, 2010
Messages
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Location
Newcastle, NSW
Hi everyone…

Well this is a thread I never thought or ever contemplated id be doing, but then again over the past month or so there have been two threads I never thought id be reading, well not yet anyway.…James and Tom rest in peace guy’s..

I’ve been a member, senior member and even honourable member of a few different forums in my time but none as fun, happy, warming, exciting and genuinely caring as Miniriders. This forum really is what forums are meant to be about.

I never knew DvDRip or Thump*140 personally, just from the threads, post’s and general chat box convos on MR. What I have seen is how valued they both were, not only as a part of the Miniriders community, but as friends….as mates.
I have not yet met any fellow members, but I feel I have already made some good friendships with some guys and girls that I hope I can one day call my mates.

Twice now I’ve seen firsthand, how “extra” active or involved everyone becomes once sad news is announced, it is really heart warming to see everyone rally together like this to give much needed support to family, friends and even fellow MR members when news like this is announced.
Even though I’ve only been a member here a short time….It makes me proud to say im a part of this awesome community.

I think now more than ever we need to be pro active in supporting our members…our mates!
We need to show everyone here, that there is always help and support available for them, what ever there problem may be, and remind them that they are never alone…ever.

The circumstances around Tom’s passing are yet to be discussed, and this thread and any content in it is definitely not directed at Tom, his passing or the circumstance in which he passed. It is not intended to offend anyone; if for any reason it does I will ask a Mod to remove it, without question. I have written this thread with only the best intentions…I just want to help.

Below are some links for free services available which help with many different circumstances also some info on different conditions. These are only a few that I was able to find via Google, I would like anyone that knows of something I may have overlooked or missed, to please jump in and list it…the more support we have for each other the better!

What I would like to see eventuate is our awesome admin team create a thread with links for various support groups for all its valued members.

I know that not a lot of you know me yet, but if you’re a MR member, I consider you my mate.



The only way to keep it real is to keep it pinned.

Wayne.





Lifeline Australia 13 11 14 - Suicide Prevention, Crisis Support & Mental Health services

depression.com.au

beyondblue: the national depression initiative

Mental health difficulties - Find - ReachOut Australia

Dads in Distress - Men's support group

Australian Single Mothers | SingleMum.com.au Home
 
Last edited:
here here

hi5 mate well written
 
yes i agree with you there, all of that actually.
if your a minirider member your considerate my mate.
thanks for spending the time on that post mini' i hope it will be used by many to come!
 
Tank you MiniFighter , very well said , i have been a member here for over 3 yrs , i consider all MR members here to be my mates young or old , i have had the privilege of meeting quite a few of the members here and i hold them all in great regard

Lets hope this thread never has to be used . if you get my drift

Sean
 
SnItChY said:
Tank you MiniFighter , very well said , i have been a member here for over 3 yrs , i consider all MR members here to be my mates young or old , i have had the privilege of meeting quite a few of the members here and i hold them all in great regard

Lets hope this thread never has to be used . if you get my drift

Sean
Click to expand...

Thanks mate...i think everyone here is awesome...i really do.

I to hope this thread never gets used, but if it helps just one person...then its all worth it.

Fingers crossed mate we never come to it.

and thanks to the other guys for feedback..


Wayne
 
The thing to remember is not to be ashamed to ask for help or have a chat about non bike related issues. We're a helpful bunch on here which I'm sure expands past bike related matters :)
 
ahmen brother, theres not much i can do, but while workin on my bike tonight i will sink some liquor...

such sad stories, but MiniFighters is right, we (MR Members) should be and will be there no matter what the issue is for support for each other!!!
 
Good idea MiniFighter :)

Anyone suffering with anxiety/depression should watch this.

Related link.

I think anyone inclined to spend so much time on a forum online, might be more inclined to help themselves online too :)
 
A similar thread to this with some more detail will be made in the next week or so.

Discussion can continue in here, but this thread will be merged with the new one in due time.
 
I must say i have been suffering from anxiety and stress in recent months. Effecting my ability to concentrate and causing me to become concerned about things i dont normally worry about. I highly recommend anyone feeling stressed or with feelings of anxiety such as difficulty sleeping, decreased ability to concentrate and cope with stress or mood swings. Speak to someone about it. Doesnt have to be a doctor. Speak to your local Chemist they have heaps of good advise and natural remedies.
 
this is the kind of thread that realy makes me glad to be in the mini riding industrie ive been around in a fair few sports but never have i seen the support that gose on in this web comunity it is realy heart warmy
 
I think we also need to closely look at the feelings that come after a death and the stages you go through of grieving. When someone dies the feelings and pain won't go away after the first good day. The pain goes on for months, some days are great and other terrible.

From my personal experience there was some nights after James first passed away where I would lay awake for hours on end and just thinking of how I would end my own life in a longing to be with him... I was never upset or crying during these times. People would've had no idea what was going though my head, making it near impossible for people to know they even needed to help me. I think it's like this a lot when people are considering suicide. It's a hard thing to spot. Most times people attempt it is a cry for help more then a death wish. Which is not a nice thing to go though, it's probably harder to go though then just asking for help in the first place...

At first I felt like his passing was my fault, but if it didn't happen when it did... it would have only been the week after or next month or maybe next year.

Someone I consider close to me the other day was clearly not in a good state and I'm extremely grateful he called me as his first resort! I left work 2 hours early and made my way to pick him up. I will always put someone's life above work, so feel free to message me anytime if you need someone to talk to. His issues weren't something I personally felt were major, but a big part of his life. We all have a different view on problems from our own life experience so you should never just tell someone to get over it, give them options and be the person that listens... you never know you might learn something from them! No problem is to small!

There is nothing wrong saying the "what if's" in the first few days of someone passing, but you have to bring your self back to reality and not say them. It's nice to get them things off your chests, I still say "what if I called him the day before" but it's not heathy to do to your self. As much as you think it helps its only allowed in the first few days!!

I know calling helplines can be hard or feel embarrassing or even shameful. But I call them all the time, I have a chat... sometimes I call even when I'm not sad, maybe just stressed because well simply sometimes life's a bitch! I'm lucky enough to have a sister only a few years older who I am very close to and we closely look after one another. She knows exactly how I respond to things and I know how she responds to things. I wouldn't say anyone else in my family knows of my problems but it makes it easier knowing if anything ever happened my sister could completely explain everything to them.

It's been one month since James passed away and most days are good. I still hate being on my own which is pretty normal, I love talking about him or telling people that don't know him all about him! He was amazing! When I am on my own and feeling shitty or sad I normally distract myself with painting or writing things out.

I personally have battled on against doctors advice and never taken pills for depression or anxiety... But I wouldn't recommend it unless you have a good circle of trust around you. My manager of my work has to know about it all(she is truly an amazing boss), my best friend works at my work place, I have awesome people like my sister, another mate who is a nurse, clearly my parents, grandma, Ando (who I only meet thru mr.. goes to show the awesome people you can meet here!) and I have a dog I consider my best mate ha ha.

I love my life everyday... Even the shit ones... because I have learnt so many life lessons and for every bad thing that happens I am trying to put a positive twist on it. James passed due to mental illness, now I am going to study to be a youth worker and then go on to uni to specialize in mental illness so I can work in hospitals with youth and be a counsellor. I can only thank James for making me realise what I want to do with my life.

I think what has happened over the last few months needs to be a wake up call to look at life differently... look at the negatives in a positive light and see what you can come up with!

One day you'll wake up and it's not that you forgot that person or the memories, it's just they won't be painful to remember anymore.

Best thing anyone said to me during this is "Life goes on, tomorrow the sun will still come up" and yes the sun has kept coming up and life is going on!
 
i agree sometimes i just go out riding in the middle of the night to think about shit... i spend hours just riding around half aimlessly think and try new things...
 
Brave post Rach....I understand every word of it. Let's not forget that many people, who do suffer from different types of mental illness, can and do live happily normal and productive and long lives. There doesn't have to be a tragic ending...and there is no shame in getting help.

Unfortunately for James there was no (or small) relief in this life - we were told many times his case was one of the worst ever seen by professionals...

It doesn't matter how well I intellectually understand all this - I cannot help spiralling down under such a blow... But then I try to hold on to the little things I shared with James - like unexpected visits and shared mid day meals and conversations. Even in leaving he always did try to look after his mum...many times... I know this and it's a comfort...
 
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