READ FIRST! before you build your own ramp!!!

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Hillz

WC ST Killa
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Before you even think you want to build a ramp you must understand what tools are used for what and how to use them correctly. If you already built a ramp you can see what you did wrong, at least relate to some of these. Remember, use the correct tool for the job at hand...

DRILL PRESS: A tall upright machine useful for suddenly snatching flat metal bar stock out of your hands so that it smacks you in the chest and flings your beer across the room, denting the freshly-painted vertical stabilizer which you had carefully set in the corner where nothing could get to it.

WIRE WHEEL: Cleans paint off bolts and then throws them somewhere under the workbench with the speed of light. Also removes fingerprints and hard-earned calluses from fingers in about the time it takes you to say, "Oh sh!#..."

SKILL SAW: A portable cutting tool used to make studs too short.

PLIERS: Used to round off bolt heads. Sometimes used in the creation of blood-blisters.

BELT SANDER: An electric sanding tool commonly used to convert minor touch-up jobs into major refinishing jobs.

HACKSAW: One of a family of cutting tools built on the Ouija board principle. It transforms human energy into a crooked, unpredictable motion, and the more you attempt to influence its course, the more dismal your future becomes.

VISE-GRIPS: Generally used after pliers to completely round off bolt heads. If nothing else is available, they can also be used to transfer intense welding heat to the palm of your hand.

WELDING GLOVES: Heavy duty leather gloves used to prolong the conduction of intense welding heat to the palm of your hand.

OXYACETYLENE TORCH: Used almost entirely for lighting various flammable objects in your shop on fire. Also handy for igniting the grease inside the wheel hub out of which you want to remove a bearing race.

TABLE SAW: A large stationary power tool commonly used to launch wood projectiles for testing wall integrity.

E-Z OUT BOLT AND STUD EXTRACTOR: A tool ten times harder than any known drill bit that snaps neatly off in bolt holes thereby ending any possible future use.

BAND SAW: A large stationary power saw primarily used by most shops to cut good aluminum sheet into smaller pieces that more easily fit into the trash can after you cut on the inside of the line instead of the outside edge.

TWO-TON ENGINE HOIST: A tool for testing the maximum tensile strength of everything you forgot to disconnect.

CRAFTSMAN x 24-INCH SCREWDRIVER: A very large pry bar that inexplicably has an accurately machined screwdriver tip on the end opposite the handle.

PHILLIPS SCREWDRIVER: Normally used to stab the vacuum seals under lids or for opening old-style paper-and-tin oil cans and splashing oil on your shirt; but can also be used, as the name implies, to strip out Phillips screw heads.

STRAIGHT SCREWDRIVER: A tool for opening paint cans. Sometimes used to convert common slotted screws into non-removable screws.

PRY BAR: A tool used to crumple the metal surrounding that clip or bracket you needed to remove in order to replace a 50 cent part.

HAMMER: Originally employed as a weapon of war, the hammer nowadays is used as a kind of divining rod to locate the most expensive parts adjacent the object you are trying to hit.

DAMMIT TOOL: Any handy tool that you grab and throw across the garage while yelling 'DAMMIT!' at the top of your lungs. It is also, most often, the next tool that you will need.

So, with that said, BE CAREFUL OUT THERE
 
Haha.. exact thing happend with a ezy out .......... it has tungsten in it?? how the hell do they snap
 
hahaha thats some funny shit, i like the dammit tool
 
the dammit tool

i've got a whole shed full of them bloddy things ^^^^^^^^

one thing though the belt sander can also be used to put lines of scratches up your windscreen every time it slips out of your hands :( makeing a minor touch up into a major touch up
also contributing to hours and days of searching for a windscreen on an ford xm wagon

mind you this is after trying to cut the glass back with one of those orbital buffers but thats another story

piss funny this is there's not to many of those things that i haven't tried
 
omg, i havent had a laugh like that for a while....:cool: ten points to the man with the battle scars! :p


Haha.. exact thing happend with a ezy out .......... it has tungsten in it?? how the hell do they snap

tungsten = hard and brittle. it doesnt bend, it shatters. a bit like a ginger snap biscuit...hard to break... or a morris minor...hard to brake :p

guess what happens if you hit a diamond with a hammer? recommended not trying this with gem quality stones :p
 
i built a ramp all i used was a mig lweder drip jig saw to cut the ply and a hack saw to cut the metal :) dodgy i guess but its sturdy
 
you forgot to add the shifter as a well known tool for stripping bolts.
funny stuff man
 

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